Rose of Sharon Jewelry

Millions of Baby Boomers are now busy caring for an aging parent – sometimes for decades.  Here are 3 critical steps to take now to insure you’re prepared for caring for your parents.

Before Your Parents Are In Need

1. Talk to your parent(s) about their wishes – this includes medical directives, living wills and residency. Most people avoid these conversations but discussing these details is critical to implementing plans that will be workable within the family, maximize finances and avoid family squabbles.

• Questions to ask aging parents from Real Simple Magazine.
• Talk Early – Talk Often web site.
• The Federal Government provides info on advanced directives.
• Advanced directive information by state is available from Caring Connections.
• Talking with Aging Parents about Finances
• Long Term Health Care – Early Planning Pays Off (Mayo Clinic)

2. Call a family meeting to discuss parental care. Not every family member has the resources to have a disabled parent move in. Others simply aren’t willing to lift a finger. Better to know who you can count on and how they will contribute. Hashing out the details without your parents around is often best as buried hurts and wounds can arise when discussing parents. Doing this well in advance also gives brother and sisters time to rethink opinions and adjust to compromises.

• For help on holding a family meeting, check out Family Caregiver Alliance.
• 9 Mistakes Adult Siblings Make When Parents Are Aging, Sick and Dying.

3. Encourage parents to create a “need to know” book. Many parents prefer to not share all their financial details until it’s necessary so putting together a guide is critical. And make certain that the book/file is safely stored and someone trusted knows where it is kept. You can also open a safety deposit box at your local bank were at least two people are required to sign in for access.

•  54-page guide from Wells Fargo Bank on financial conversations with adult children.
• Aging Parents: During Emergencies, Details Count at the Mayo Clinic web site.
• Help Your Aging Parents – free forms from Boomer Books.

 

The title of the advice web site above – Talk Early – Talk Often – is great advice. Western cultures often ignore talking about death and dying which can be a critical mistake for you and your love ones.

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Thanks for stopping by again. Don’t forget to check out the newest releases in the Rose of Sharon Jewelry store.

Happy Birthday, Josh! You’re 34 today [July 5th - Blog finally decided it would post this one.] Sure seems like yesterday when you became my son. Mommy Sharon loves you.

As a stepmother, I’ve been blessed with a son who came into my life as an infant. I’ve always been your other mother and you named me Mommy Sharon. Now you call me Sharew (there’s a whole family store behind this one).

I know it was hard to grow up Fullen as we set some pretty high standards for you but you surpassed them and have created your own family and a wonderful life. Your Dad always sent you off with the words “make us proud, you’re a Fullen.” And you sure have.

You’re a husband and father now but you’ll always be my kid!

 

 

 

 

My #1 grandson, Hunter becomes an official teenager today! He is an adorable guy with a passion for Kart racing, looking cool, cooking and being a great big brother.

Since the first day we met him as a very talkative 7-years-old, he charmed us. That little smile is a joy to see.

 

Here’s a link to a Happy Birthday slideshow I put together to look back on Hunter’s life with Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Arden.

 

For You, Hunter

Hunter –

• may you be forever young,
• may you always know what it means to love and be loved,
• may you find a career path that feeds your soul,
• may you discover the joy of learning is more than good grades (although we do like those too),
• may you find a sport/exercise that keeps your body healthy and strong,
• may you always be an great example for your little brothers,
• may you never forget your Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Arden and
• may you continue to become a kick-ass Kart racer.

 

We love you!

 

P.S. Happy Birthday Captain Jim, too!

Tomorrow Sandra leaves and we'll slowly go back to the Fullen family's normal. We've laughed, ate and lived well since she arrived on the 19th. I will absolutely need to go on a diet after our feasting. Here's a few of the many fattening delights we ate this holiday season - fudge, rum cake, fruitcake. coconut shrimp, whip cream, lemon meringue pie, candy and cookies. Our island themed Christmas meal was a success thanks to Dawn's inspiration. Off to enjoy our last feast - Sandra's famous beef stroganoff!

Still enjoying the aftermath of Christmas. I've always suffered from the post-Christmas blues so I decided to just celebrate every day until reality sets in. Still have decorations up, company is still here, kids are still excited about gifts and we have tons of leftovers. Just thought I'd stop by and let you know where I've been. See ya in a few days!

Dear Santa, Please come to the Fullen home on Tuesday December 22nd. Kael, Orion and even non-believer Hunter will be waiting for you to come down the chimney.

With all the in-laws and outlaws, the Fullen's often have Christmas early. One year it was the 10th! We figure it’s easier to avoid Christmas overload and conflicts.

For our full family gathering, we cook a non-traditional – usually international – meal. One year, Mexican; the next, Greek. This year is Dawn suggested Polynesian influenced menu with a bit of Caribbean tossed in. That way no one gets turkey burn-out!

Arden’s sister, Sandra always joins us from Houston. She’ll be her on Saturday and we’ll put our tree up together and finish the rest of all the decorations.

While Josh and his brood visit Dawn’s family and have time to develop their own traditions, Sandra, Arden and I fix a juicy prime rib dinner. The best prime rib is Kansas City Steaks which I order from QVC. Expensive, but always worth it.

Another newer tradition is to order the most English muffins in the world from Wolferman’s. The best deal is their 12-package buy where you select your favorite flavors. We love every flavor! The cheddar cheese muffins are wonderful in Eggs Benedict.

Got to run as I only have 7 more days until the Fullen Christmas!

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Grandson Hunter experienced the hardest life and death lesson this week after a young girl friend collapsed at school. The athletic 13-year-old girl died while being air lifted to a hospital.

On Tuesday before classes started, Hunter was chatting with the young girl when she complained her legs hurt and sunk to the  ground. The bell rang and the hallway became chaotic. Some kids ran to the school office alerting a “Code Blue” team which subsequently called CareFlight.

Hunter and a second girl friend waited with the 13-year-old until she was taken aboard the helicopter. Facts are scarce so far but it seems she died in route to the hospital from a heart attack.

Hunter, being a strong young man not unfamiliar with death of a loved one, spoke to a school grief counselor but never called home. The school district sent out an automatic phone call notifying parents of the tragedy which worried his Mom. Dawn wouldn’t find out Hunter was involved in the incident until he returned home from school.

Hunter is understandably sad and bewildered. How can someone be laughing one moment and gone the next – especially when you seem to be a healthy young girl?

There are no real answers – even when we learn the facts surrounding her death – that will ever satisfy a friend, a teacher, a sibling or a parent.

Our prayers go out to the young lady’s family and our pride in Hunter is confirmed. He stood by a friend even during an emotionally charged episode. People are shaped by their experiences and Hunter has once again strengthened his character.

 

 

 

 

 

Hunter (summer 2009)

Twins Kael and Orion had a blast at Train Town in Sonoma, CA. Kael is wild about trains and Orion is just wild about anything mechanical. 

Had so much fun riding the scaled down train, feeding goats, exploring the tiny Western town, riding a carousel and chasing after the exited 3-year-olds.

I was able to keep my cold at bay for the day and walk about enough to enjoy their excitement and take pics. Had to ice down the ankle at the end of the day but it was worth it.

Saturday, we were at the Kart track at the Jim Russell Karting School at 8:00 a.m. for Hunter’s first Kart race. With “arrive and drive” you just pay your money and show up. They provide a working Kart, fire suit and helmet. 

Speed Demon

Hunter did great in practice and qualifying (8 out of 10 which is good for a first race with little experience) and was ready to take everyone on in the official race.

He did great in the rolling start and captured 3 positions when someone bumped him from behind in the first curve. This set up a chain reaction with Hunter and his Kart flying 3 feet in the air. He landed safely but his front end was damaged enough to restrict his speed. He did finish 8th by holding off a faster car.

Hunter how has a souvenir front end (costing Grandpa $113) and some wonderful memories. He may have had some bad racing luck but we are proud that he stuck to it and finish.

Cannot wait for next season!